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Monday, 02 April 2012

  • So this is going to be an annoyance, and right now I'm not sure I even have words. Seeing them together makes my heart race. This morning I woke up thinking about it for some reason, how people so easily replace one another. How I'm just as guilty. I felt sick. I guess that's the word I was looking for. I don't know this guy well but knowing the other half he'll probably be in for some fun. I also wish it wasn't so tense and weird. But whatever, I'm home now, going swimming later, and that's that. Tomorrow's salsa might bring some new sunshine so I can't be all emo'd out. I really just wish I had one best friend. That would help so much. Laura comes close but I don't think she's as open with me as with Phoebe but it is what it is. Her text offering to talk before I even knew what she was talking about really scored points, I don't think I've ever had someone do that before. The thought that she knows me and cares makes everything better.
  • Dear Diary,

    I think someone new just walked into my life. And I'm welcoming them to the foyer, but I think we'll hang out there for a while and enjoy the sunshine from the open door. Life is crazy<3.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

  • Today I gave up the last hope I had of things with that someone. Karma is craazy. I'm basically in the same situation I put someone in just about 6 months or so ago and I definitely see the humor in that. But handing back her sweats and getting my last belonging from her house kind of closed the deal. I also promised no more random visits and I intend to keep it. We weren't meant to be. I think for the first time (yeah I'm sure no one believes this) I thought with the wrong head, and made things happen. I'm happy for that though. But I think we both know we're happier now than we were earlier on. I went on a long bike ride afterwards and found a new chill thinking place. While sitting there this couple came by and I thought maybe one day, hopefully not too far off, I'll share the things I find on my own, with someone else. As for her, she's already onto new things, but I think I need to internalize the fact that I'm meant to work on me right now. My interpersonal relationships, friendships, dental knowledge and skills, physique, health and goals of my own. I think I'm settling into some great friends, but I need to keep in mind what's really important right now, and live by those priorities.

    1. Health
    2. Career
    3. Family
    4. Friends

Monday, 26 March 2012

Sunday, 25 March 2012

  • This sucks and I miss everything. I miss feeling happy, even though it had its downfalls. I miss being focused, which I still can be but its like fighting a battle. I miss getting random hugs while studying. I miss studying with someone. I miss the cookies and cakes. I miss feeling like everything was perfectly ok. I miss Lisa and her morning cereals. I miss seeing them in the library. I miss how everything used to feel so together and now its divided. I miss feeling excited. I miss the notes. I miss her laughing at something random. I miss the chocolates. I miss texting goodmornings and good night and knowing the thoughts meant something. I miss long hugs, never letting go. I miss the way we woke up, seeing you stretch and your eyes open. I miss your smile And that one tooth that stands out. I miss just hanging out. Movies, cooking, talking, napping, singing, dancing, fighting, the good and the bad, the phototaking, everything. This isn't helping me at all.

    I want to say I don't regret anything, but I regret my behavior. I'm ever sorry I didn't handle myself how I should have and keep my own life and relationships together. But I'm here. And its what I make of it. I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. I just wish I had another chance.

SimplisticSilence89

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    • Name: Rob
    • Location: New York, United States
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 5/28/2003
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